I am aware, far more aware than I have been…

by Christyn

 

Photo Credit: Paula Willems 

I just finished a 45 minute phone conversation with Erin.  And yesterday, I spent some time on the phone with Kevin.  And I cannot tell you how absolutely excited and blessed I am to spend the summer with those two lovely people.  I have yet to talk to the other gent that will spend his summer alongside the three of us but I hope he’s ready for the madness that will ensue. 😉 

It’s incredible how God works through situations.  I was reminded of my salvation when Erin and I were talking about our testimonies and where God has us now.  Our stories align in so many ways but are so beautifully unique in others.  I can’t explain the peace that comes with God simply whispering “it is well,” into your soul after the torment of years of chasing the promise of stability.  

I had the pleasure of talking to Mr. Andy Hull (Right Away, Great Captain, Manchester Orchestra, & Bad Books) on Monday.  And part of our conversation was about how we have struggled in our lives and God has consistently revisited us and used those struggles to glorify Him.  It blows my mind how creative and perfect everything in our lives is made.  It makes me anxious to think about how I am going to move all of my things so that my landlord/roommate can renovate my room while I’m gone, all the while packing and preparing for my trip.  But God has our entire lives figured out, start to finish.  And the difficult times aren’t Him working against us but His attempt to let us realize how much we need Him.  It’s so hard to remember that sometimes but its not our responsibility to understand, it’s just our responsibility to obey.  And that’s just the hardest realization of all sometimes.  

A dear friend of mine reminded me, recently, that my life is not supposed to be dedicated to planning out my next step.  God already has the plans ready, I am just supposed to prepare myself for the steps he has planned.  It’s like a trust fall.  I have to close my eyes and cross my hands across my chest and shift my center of gravity, but I have no control over whether or not I hit the ground.  

Anyways, this is becoming a lot of rambling.  Just remember that, sometimes in the moment, its terrifying.  But it’s always worth it.  And it will ALWAYS be worth it.  Even when it doesn’t seem possible.