After a day of …

by Christyn

After a day of depressing discouragement yesterday, I received a Facebook message from an acquaintance I haven’t been in contact with whatsoever. She sent me this short message:

This is SUUUUUPER random…but a little while ago, I woke right up in the middle of the night and felt like the Lord wanted me to pray. I started praying about all kinds of things, and then I began praying for the president, and right when I did, your name and your face just popped into my head. So I prayed for you! I don’t know if that means anything to you specifically, but I figure it might just be encouraging to know that someone was praying for you. 

After literally spending the day between tears and sleeping, I was awestruck by her boldness to let me know what was on her heart even though we were merely strangers. That broke me down into crying even harder; but this time it was out of joy. See… I was being selfish all day. I was forgetting why I am in Nashville and not at home. I was beat down by the fear of running out of money, not finding an apartment, not having a job, etc. I was beat down and worn out by the Enemy picking apart every weakness that I have been tempted by the past few weeks. I began to wonder if I was really called to be in Nashville or if I was just forcing myself out of pride. But then Anna sent me that message and it was like a hugeeee “Hey dummy! I tried to tell you that you’re not alone! Are you listening yet? This isn’t about you, remember? I love you more than you love yourself so stop tearing yourself up. I’ve got this!” from God. 

So today is my birthday. I’m 24 years old. I’m 5 hours from my friends, my church family, and my blood relatives. AND I’m actively chasing after my Father. The greatest sacrifices and acts of service are rarely comfortable. Jesus hung on a cross post torture and betrayal as a sacrifice for the ones who tortured and betrayed Him. It is HARD. It just is. And it always will be. But now I know that means I’m doing it right and that it won’t ever be about me again. So I have to stop pretending that it is. Oh, Jesus. Thanks for that little slap on the hand. I needed it to love you better.